The show of Shows

I'm in a play with these people, they're coll I guess - here's my passive aggresive take on them




Geroge


Papa Bear himself. Can't really mock him.So we will Move on.

Kerri: Official cast sweethart and Ms. Congeniallity. She's the kind of chick who every at Midnite of X-mas eve. Goes down to the local Jewish orphanage, and leaves 5 dozen kosher chocalate chip cookies and a 1 thousand dollar bill, rings the doorbell and runs away. But hides in the Bushes to see the Jewish nuns look of bewildermint.

Jennette(sp?) my feelings can only be expressed in limerick form:
She's an Altona hottie with a sweet German body;
why I like her I don't have a reason, but I like to keep her warm cause she's a Friesen
She's got soft Hands and placid neck
For the wedding my best man was Stan Kubacheck
She preached me the word of Menno Simmons,then she spread her legs and I bust her hyman
In Winkelr its hot, In Morden its tight;
Saturday Evening became a Menno-night
Fucking in January,Sucking in Junetook her to Steinbach for our honeymoon


Darcy:If one person could gather the charisma of JFK,Cary Grant,and former AWA World Tag Team Champion, The Crusher and magnify it expenentially by 12 you only recieve a fourth,nay, a quarter of Darcy's charisma. He looks cooler smoking than Humphrey Bogart and Tom Snyder combined. If God were an actor, it would be Darcy

Ross: Well, kind of like the dirty uncle who lets you see porn and drink gin. Gives you a fake ID-goes to Teasers's with you.You wake up in a Bourbonstreet Whorehouse - he gives you a fist full of fifties and mutters "Try Em All" He them convinces you that when he fought Chuck Norris on the Shores of England, it got so scared that it shat itself and produced Scotland. And the only man I never knew that in the Dying days of Andre the Giants life, wiped his ass with a curtain

Ray: The Suntan Superman. The man who has had more chicks than most of us have had hot meals.No one will ever smash a crutch on a metal chair like him. He confessed to me that his only weekness is taking cookies and and cash outside of Orphanages on X-mas eve - and he has knowledge of the complete Toby Keith Songbook

Sue- If I was ever raped, I mean really brutally raped, I would only discuss with one person, Sue.She would make sure to tell me that It wasn't my fault and give me a Werther's Hard Candy.And every year on that day,she'd send me an e-mail, with nothing in the body of the letter, just the Subject line would read. "Don't Stop Believing"


Chris- The Walking incarnation of the Marlborough Man and Buzz Lightyear rolled into 1.5. He's so tough he can peel a potato from 50 yards away just by looking at it.And a bigger schlong than Ray, not in length, but girth(like a clay flower pot)Oh dear look at my watch, time to join the Pepsi Generation.Generation Next.

Theresa- I'll never know whether she is an "Ainken Hart" a mild fan of Clay Aiken, only the albums and a few posters, would only drive up to 5hrs. To see him in concert, or a "Claymate" a devotee to Clay where she looks at some like the Muslims look at Mohammed, or like the Catholics look at money - and would drive unlimited distances,past various rifts in the space time continium to only hear one note from his supple virgin body.

Raph; Fat guy,obnoxious,coughed alot, queer????

Lisa - Blonde, I think like football?


More later
Jim Beam is the official bourboun of this blog.Because if its not Jim Beam, its probably battery acid.